Meera, Veena, Black?

"Veena is cheap," said Meera when she was interviewed about Veena on the set of the Indian flick "Om Allah" (Yup! That title is controversial).

Lately, everyone was talking about Veena Malik and her 'colourful' performance in Bigg Boss 4. 'Ghairat' brigade got all wrapped in joy as they got a new issue to protest upon. Now, she is out of the house and would be arriving in Pakistan any day. Soon, the whole affair will turn into a noisy ugly circus. It seems that Veena Malik has all of a sudden turned into a big threat to our "Islamic" society. Before we all start pointing our little finger at Ms. High-heels Malik, we should all remember that there are bigger threats to our religion than a silly actress. I agree that she is quite a bombshell but at least she is not blasting into smithereens.

Much to my surprise is the reaction from the self-acclaimed superstar (and "joke of the day") Meera. In her recent interviews, she has called Veena, superficial and cheap. Had she got her facts straight, it was Meera who went across the border to shoot a steamy movie for our "Nazar". Furhtermore, she defended it by saying that it was like two countries falling in love. Yeah right!

While it is a case of "the pot calling the kettle black", it is also a case of jealousy, I think. Veena has not only stole Meera's spotlight. She stole Ashmit Patel too, the guy Meera kissed in "Nazar". Can it be that Meera still wants Ashmit? Or maybe she is afraid that Veena might play "Meera's" role in the sequel of (Meera claimed it as a hit, Ashmit said its a flop) the movie "Nazar". Who knows? Meera says that Ashmit Patel is a very innocent guy and Veena is a very sly.

Veena and Meera have been in a tussle for years now. Veena accused of Meera being wicked. According to Veena, Meena has tried to burn her face through Acid-Spilling Attacks. Furthermore, Meera claims that the superstar is, she never got the time to do Bigg Boss even though she was approached. And to top it all, Meera said Asif is a good guy.

I hope Meera knows what she is talking about. She has been known to give credit to wrong people for their work. As far as I know, nice guys do not dope or make MMS of their private moments and then send the phone for repairs without deleting stuff.

Indeed, Veena has not been a very "innocent" lass on the show but to me, it is not an issue. She is an actress and Bigg Boss is a television show for failing celebrities. If she plays a character in there, is she wrong? Not quite but Meera's response is highly uncalled for. This is the kind of attitude which has made our film industry suffer. Rather than dissing about Veena, Meera should have supported her for the sake of the country.

YAY! S̶a̶n̶t̶a̶ China is here!

Aray wah! Look who is here? It seems like Christmas already. And when Santa arrives, everyone should behave. We all know that Santa never gives presents to naughty children. No wonder "nation's best well-wisher" Nawaz Sharif and his "sasti roti" clan have gone a bit mute since the Santa Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao is here.

China and Pakistan have been on friendly terms for 59 years, almost six decades but it is strange that we only remember China when it comes to us with a boatload, or in this case, an airplane-load of money. This time round, China is coming with goodies more than last year. If China had to be a TV show, it would have Oprah's favorite things. That friend of ours is just giving and giving and giving. In return, China sadly gets nothing but JOKES.

If you see someone Chinese on the street in Pakistan, possibilities are that he would be looked upon. His appearance would be made into a joke especially there would be whispers about his short eyes. Furthermore, not even one university in Pakistan teaches Simplified Chinese as a subject (either elective or core). Furthermore, Chinese language is considered a bunch of nonsensical phonics together, again perfect for jokes. It does not halt here, it is a growing trend where Chinese girls are seen as candidates for "bedtime adventures" for young Pakistani boys.

However, this is not the case in China. Pakistanis get more respect than any other nationality there. Urdu Language is provided as a 4-year Bachelors degree program at Beijing Foreign Studies University. Debates in Urdu language also take place there as well as China Radio International has dedicated 4-hours programming on Shortwave Radio. Furthermore, China has been investing in Pakistan for decades now. The Karakoram Highway which is the highest paved international road in the world was made in cooperation with China. The Chamsa Nuclear Power Complex is also made with the help of China. Not to mentioned, China has allegations that it helped Pakistan in becoming the World's First Muslim Nuclear Power. Moreover, during the Kargil war, a friend of my father told that China sent military aid for Pakistan as threats for mainland attacks were rising. I rememeber that China books almost a chunk of displaying space when it comes to exhibitions in Pakistan. Though it promotes business for them but it also emits positive vibes for the potential Pakistan has. It was once reported in 1990s, China volunteered to deliver scientific television programming for Pakistani viewers when they saw the mediocre state of programming being aired on PTV2. Moreover, China Mobile saved the disaster that was Paktel and turned it around to make ZONG, one of the fastest growing cellular companies in Pakistan currently. In 2008, Pakistani delegation was cheered loudest among all the guests during the Parade of Athletes at the Beijing Olympics.

It is not that Pakistan has been a gold-digger too. It was the first nation in the world to accept the People's Republic of China and still promotes the idea of One China. In 2008, when the Olympic Flame landed in Islamabad, Pakistan threw a festivity fit for the upcoming occasion as well as asked the world to support China and the Games. It showed that Pakistan was truly happy for Beijing to become a host. During the 2008 Sichuan Earthquake, Pakistan almost emptied its tent storage to support China.

Indeed, China and Pakistan have a relationship which is beyond governments but the time is here to make more closer than ever. The first thing we could do is that we treat Chinese living in Pakistan much friendly. We should see them as our equals. We should learn their language, rather making a mockery out of it. Furthermore, a supply of good quality of Chinese music and movies should be introduced to the public through its translation in English. When we could import Hollywood flicks and get them translated in Urdu, why not get something 'Made in China' for our cinemas too? After all, we buy everything 'China' from fruit juices to medical equipment. Furthermore, Simplified Chinese should be introduced into our education curriculum, especially, it should be made available for Business Studies students, either as elective or core courses. Though, these steps are very small but it is the little things in our lives that matter. It is high-time to adopt more Chinese things than their food.

Rounding up the 10, Part 3: Facepalm

Lo jee! I think these two are a like a peas in a pod. Last time, I started my last post with Fatima and this time, its Jemima. Oh Jemima! I was very sad when you and Imran went bye-bye. Still, I think Jemima has more sense than Fatima. She is keeping Imran's boys Muslim and still does a lot of good work for the country which was once her second home. I love to read her tweets and she is so open for feedback at times. Just this evening, she tweeted:

Julian Assange to launch new social network for diplomats, Twofacebook

Now, I have no idea what Jemima is trying to imply here but if she is throwing one on the TIME magazine who named Mark Zuckerberg as the Person of the Year then I am with her. The Person of the Year is a newsworthy person who impacts the world in a significant manner. Naming Zuckerberg as the Person of the Year makes very little sense. His website has been there since 2004 and it was not going anywhere for a couple of years. The only significant impact Mr. Zuckerberg makes on our lives is when he makes a new Facebook layout which is compulsory to use, no matter how sucky it might be. 

Yes. If they are thinking that Mr. Zuckerberg made an impact during the "Draw Day" controversy then we should all not forgot that it was an event which last only a month. Curiously, it was the same time when technology enthusiasts in US rallied support against the use of Facebook due to its non-interest in user's privacy. Much to my amaze, this was the same time when "Draw Day" controversy erupted and even to much surprise that Facebook did not delete those pages even though you cannot support Hitler on the same platform. As I turned my Zaid Hamid mode on, I smell a conspiracy in there. As Muslims flocked to report those "Draw Day" pages, it might be a possibility that many of them have made multiple accounts to make sure that "Draw Day" page is banned. More accounts means more ads here and there. More ads means more money for Zuckerberg. However, the real dent came when it was banned in Pakistan and Bangladesh for more than a week. The user base dropped and the ads went away (some of them are not coming back).

The guy who really deserved the title was Julian Assange. He owned the year. First he released the Afghan War Diaries in July of this year and then came the Cablegate. The nature of these documents show that how world diplomacy is working and how leaders of the world can be two-faced. His organization, WikiLeaks, really showed that the people of the world care about whats going around them. As soon as there were attempts to bring down the only host sites, volunteers around the world worked together. In less than a day, WikiLeaks had 350+ host sites or mirrors. Furthermore, the whole WikiLeaks website is available on BitTorrent for people to keep. Even the events that unfolded after the Cablegate showed there was a great impact. It showed that countries, which boasted about Liberal Speech, in reality, did not support it when their actions were questioned whereas TIME Magazine placed the last nail in the coffin as it declined the readers' opinion and chose a millionaire who might be not that influential to our lives. The Cablegate was a true global which covered places where a computer might not exist. TIME by skipping Assange as the Person of the Year showed that the editorial team is scared of accepting realities.

And if they did wanted Mark Zuckerberg on your cover so bad, couldn't they get a real photographer to take his picture?

Rounding up the 10, Part 2: Burqa-lesque

Bhaee! I used to like Fatima Bhutto because she is part Afghani. But ever since she has released that bloody book of hers, she has been doing a lot more finger pointing than one could have for. Earlier this year, Sara Taseer (baby-girl of "now you see me, now you don't" Punjabi Governor) threw a rant on Ms. Bhutto, calling her "a sheep in wolves clothing".

Talking about clothing, Express Tribune ran a story on how those Bhuttos (the regular kind and Zardari kind) dress up, and while keeping the same topic on, recently, Fatima Bhutto tweeted:

What are they supposed to wear under their burqas? Burqas?

She is talking about Somali women who are being flogged because they wear PANTS. Loose or tight, pants are a big no-no in Somalia. They are a ticket to "indecent exposure". Fine, I agree that tight pants can be indecent but what about loose one. They are okay to wear as they will not show any part of your lower body. I wonder what kind of Police they have in Somalia. Is it not indecent to peek into burqas?

However, it does not stop there. Here in Pakistan, a couple of male staff at work went to Quetta for marketing school books. When they returned, they told their boss that it was safer to be in Shalwar Kameez. Earlier this month, when my boss took a trip to Quetta to train school teachers for Army personnel's children, he was ordered that he cannot wear Pants. They added if anyone saw him in Pants, chances are there that he would be dead in a few minutes. To be on the safer side, my boss had to wear Shalwar Kameez along with a Turban.

This year, the Burqa was in a lot of debates, especially in the French ones. It was banned in France and they did have a point as a Burqa could be a potential threat; both to security and maybe to the French Fashion. Inside a Burqa, you can never tell if there is a girl or a guy and a bomb can easily be carried. This French ban is widely unpopular in Pakistan but it is gaining support in elsewhere Europe.

As in Pakistan where Burqa is widely popular, the overall tunic dress is causing problems too. The women who wear Burqa feel superior. They stare at you as if you are naked. They are low when it comes to manners and being ethic. Usually, when I am buying something at a crowded shop, these Burqa-clad women will bump into you (and they will never apologize or say "Excuse Me!") and bend to pick things from the lower aisle without checking that if there is space or not. God forbid if you bump into one of them accidentally, she will shout and shout till you are not beaten into a plump. I am not saying the lot is corrupt but significant number of them are.

Moreover, the whole cause of wearing the dress should be looked upon too. Burqa was supposed to be worn over a dress to hide body features but nowadays, more fitting versions are popping up. It does not stop here. One of my friends told that his ex-girlfriend sometimes was wearing nothing under her burqa and I know he is not lying. Roam around in Hill Park Karachi during an afternoon and you will find a lot more that might be inside her burqa than her body. My late grandmother told me that during her times, there were strictness but Burqa was never there.

Now a band of religious fanatic would say, "Burqa is Islam". In my point of view, it is not. Islam while asking women to dress modestly, it also asks men NOT TO STARE. The fault does not lie in the piece of clothing but it lies in our attitudes. If French think that ban Burqa is making them feel safer than they should ponder why in a society so modern women are still wearing Burqas. Indeed, there is a fault in their system. Furthermore, its goes the same way for our country too.

Khair, my point of view is that this whole Burqa thingy is creating a real problem for the women who wear it for security reasons. First the illegitimate use of Burqa and then the ban in France, it makes the world for these women less secure. It would be better that we find out a way to make things secure for them. A more secure world will eventually result in less Burqa. Or maybe, I should drop dieting as I am hallucinating.

Rounding up the 10. Part 1.

Hayelo! Whats this? You sent an innocent email and someone emails back in RED FONT and uses strong language. Not a very nice incident to start a morning.

Khair! The poor little website administrator at my work was so happy that finally, our company was moving into a more mature web-presence. He finally managed to get the Facebook Page up and running, and he emailed people to follow through a newsletter. In a day, the numbers went from 13 (mostly mine, thanks everyone who 'liked') to 66 fans. However, there was one gentleman who was not quite happy. He emailed back and he used language that even angels would tremble if they would have read it. Indeed, the whole "Draw Day" controversy made Facebook evil but was it necessary to include all those nice words that rhyme with "duck". 

The gentleman while immersed in total emotions forgot that swearing is a sin too and a simple email saying "no thanks" would have helped but he showed that he (and a lot of similar Muslims like him) cannot handle things without the right sentiments. It is our over-reaction to some important issues which makes us look stupid and even leave us vulnerable for further attacks. Most of my friends did not use Facebook in the summer this year, and I know quite a few who still are not using it. I appreciate that some guys out there tried to make an alternative but there were no originality in them. It would been have a punch to the face if we would have gathered our resources and would have made "Facebook" alternative, fit for us. Rather to capitalize on our glory, we made several sub-standard pages which perished in no time.

If anyone thinks that I am defending my company's Facebook presence then I would say that you would be disappointed to know that I am not doing that. My point here is while we express our sentiments, we should keep do it in a classier manner. Being offensive is all right but it is time to do more. It is time that we all learn to attack and do some good damage, if someone dares to tarnish something sacred to our beliefs.

A.I.D.S. (Am I Doing Something?)

Chalo janab. The day is finally here to do some activism. It is the first day of the final month. Today is December 1st, World AIDS Day. Now everyone would say that Mr. Durrani is a such a party-pooper. He would now ruin all the fun by telling us not to have sex just like he did for sexting. Well, yes I would poop in your party just telling that if you are so keen to do it, use a condom please. They are dead cheap (nobody is asking you to buy Durex all the time) and they are for your own good.


The theme this year for World AIDS Day is "Universal Access and Human Rights". As Pakistanis have a canny ability to stigmatize the victim rather than tackling the evil, the theme cannot be more befitting. We need to understand that AIDS patients are as human as we are. They may have special needs and they deserve a chance to universal access to life-prolonging drugs but we should remember that they are humans with hearts. We should not pity them or leave them out of our society. They can be good employees, good friends and even good spouses and parents. Recent scientific procedures have helped HIV-positive mothers to produce HIV-negative children. Extra care does not hurt anyone. We need to change the public thought on this matter.


Bhayee, if you say AIDS in Pakistan in any of your sentences, people make a run for changing the subject or you are suddenly in the butt of a joke. We have just swept this problem under our "Islamic" rug. Once I mentioned it on a forum and some guy made a wise crack that they need a live demonstration on how to use condoms (he meant from start till climax). An year later, I tried to talk it out with one of my friends and he replied that it is Zionist conspiracy to ruin our generation and make them more sex-oriented as it was not a problem in his parents' time. That explanation made me dizzy for a good two minutes. Such ignorance does not help the cause. An acquittance of mine would not use any condoms as he fears that it would make him impotent. Another guy thought that using condoms is just "cheap" and makes you look like a "professional" sex worker. When I asked them that how do they know that their partner is clean, they replied that they pick people from good families and they can tell that they are "clean". Rarely, I have been able to talk it out with girls but I remember that during my last year projects, two girls accompanied to a term paper on AIDS in Pakistan. Another girl of my university took the initiative last year and arranged a seminar on AIDS awareness.


During my term paper, I found out that Pakistan is located at a very tricky position when it comes to AIDS. Our neighboring countries India and China have alarming rates of infections whereas on Afghanistan has the cheapest retail rate for drugs in the world and yet to have a credible source of data on AIDS infection. As travel with India is more relaxed then ever, there is a chance of epidemic travelling into the country. Needle sharing during drug use is also a great cause of this disease. As cheaper drugs flow from Afghanistan, the epidemic can rise as well. These are plausible situations. It does not mean that we stop people with AIDS from both sides of the border to travel. In order to combat this threat, we need to improve our prevention strategies. We need to ensure that proper sex education is given to our children and not only just biological stuff but as well as the logical religious stuff. We need to crack down on drugs and disapprove its use in our mainstream lives.


Poverty has also been a indirect cause of this menace. In order to make the ends meet, both men and women indulge in prostitution. The client would pay less if he or she would be able to get it the way they want it. This does not only prevail in adults. I have been told that children are also "up" for sale. In Lahore, a child sex-worker would be available at even Rs. 50, sometimes lower. These children usually do it to buy glue. The scenarios for eunuchs is not much different either. International agencies like UNAIDS and USAID have been trying to safeguard children from this menace and rehabilitate their lives with the help of local NGOs. Gender Interactive Alliance and New Light Aids Control Society are also playing their part to spread awareness and help in rehabilitation among transgenders and homosexual men. Government of Pakistan has been keeping it under a priority and due to efforts by the government, blood transfusion are much safer than they were a decade ago. Advertisements campaigns in 90s have helped the numbers to be low.


Currently there are 97,400 HIV/AIDS cases in Pakistan and the number is rapidly progressing in drug users and male sex workers, possibly in homosexual men. These number are only reported cases. The estimated number of cases are much higher, sometimes touching the 200,000 mark. I know that quite a few people will accuse me of doing armchair activism but with AIDS, doing that is a tough thing. I have been doing trying to this since I was 17 years old and every year, I have faced more "jokes" than motivation. HIV/AIDS is a global problem and instead of looking what someone is doing, we should all ponder about A.I.D.S. or "Am I Doing Something?" You can start by making a pledge: http://bit.ly/hnzh4E