Veena ki Jiwani!

Chalo, we all thought we would have seen the last of her at the Bigg Boss 4 finale. Alas! The whole commotion has not stopped. She is still making headlines and like the nation we are, it is necessary for us to over-react. Veena Malik has been called everything in almost all the languages which we speak here.

Someone once told me:

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

The "what?"

Aray dekho koun bola! It is Bilawal "Whats my name?" Zardari, and somehow, it feels like 2008 all over again; a recent murder followed by mourning and memorials while there is too much finger-pointing going on rather than proper investigation, and it would not stop here. There has to be a punch-line to all of this, and it came from the party (what party? new years!) chairman's mouth: "The Real Blasphemers" (after the immense success of "Democracy is the best Revenge"). Wow! A big one from the little Z (or should I say B-Z or boozy).

Sitting in a warm, cosy room in London, the chairman of the Pakistan People's Party Bilawal "Say My Name" Zardari used all of vocabulary and British accent to make a point. The speech drove every liberal wild, and PPP-followers went nuts. Oh the bravery! Oh the daringness! Oh the bullshit!

Had the people of Pakistan could see with their eyes, Mr. Taseer was abandoned by his own leadership. The president of the country and the co-chairman of his party, Asif Ali Zardari stayed in Karachi and sent his sister, Faryal Talpur instead. The reason of being which is that he was advised by his astrologer that Mr. Zardari's life is in great danger and it would be better if he stayed near the seashore. Furthermore, a statement given by his son and the chairman of the party was followed by a statement by the "nanny" of Pakistan Yousuf Raza Gilani in which that he announced that the government is not making any changes in the law. Which makes you wonder if PPP would ever be serious about anything? One minute they say "this", the second minute they say "that". This goes on for months and a quick stance is taken if their government is in danger of being toppled.

Coming back to the Bilawal "That's my name" Zardari's speech, it has no use. No matter what he does, he cannot seem to have that "name" charisma for which he altered all of his legal documents. Furthermore, he started his speech without a "Salam" or "Bismillah" and then why he was giving an awkward pause before mentioning the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him). Further on, he says, "My mother embraced martyrdom while defending our faith." What? Last I knew, in his address to a procession on August 4, 2009, he said "Salam from Shaheed Muhtarama Benazir Bhutto! From her blood which gave us freedom, from her blood which gave us democracy." Hmm. Interesting! He grew up to be just right. A very befitting leader, very close to the manifest of his party (no, David Guetta is not the DJ).

At the start, I thought that this whole father and son clan would work but sadly, it has been a disappointment. If Bilawal wishes to be an active part of this dirt we call "Pakistani politics", he has to learn the local language, he has to dwell among commoners and he has to rally up support on the streets. He may have received this party (with loads of booze) on a silver plater but not everything would be that easy especially after the circus, his father and his father's faithful friends are running in the name of democracy. Or wait, was it supposed to be a revenge?? My advice: stay in London, Bilawal.

Ulti-what?

"Look! Revolution!!"

Jan 4, 2011: “The prime minister should tell us within the next 72 hours if he can do it. If he does not tell us or says he cannot do it, then we will part ways with them in Punjab also,” Nawaz Sharif said.

Jan 4, 2011: Salmaan Taseer assassinated in Islamabad, Sharif adds 72 hours more in first deadline.

Jan 10, 2011: “I have told Mian Sahib (Nawaz Sharif) that we are positive about his demands and he replied, ‘if you are positive then we will not part ways with your party in Punjab’,” Gilani told the media after spending a hectic day calling almost all national leaders.

Jan 11, 2011:

Oh that fellow is so funny! All this commotion for what? My advice to Mr. Nawaz Sharif that he should stop consuming those "oh so cheap" naans. They are not only ruining the reserves for Punjab, which could have  been used for better purposes, but also they are messing with his brain. Or maybe, it is the hair transplant. Whatever the reason was? Mr. Sharif has been nothing but very illogical in his principles of politics. He still lives in 1999 and still quotes the prices of his era. He is obsessed with Musharraf while forgetting that he, himself, is not a pious "cow".

Meera, Veena, Black?

"Veena is cheap," said Meera when she was interviewed about Veena on the set of the Indian flick "Om Allah" (Yup! That title is controversial).

Lately, everyone was talking about Veena Malik and her 'colourful' performance in Bigg Boss 4. 'Ghairat' brigade got all wrapped in joy as they got a new issue to protest upon. Now, she is out of the house and would be arriving in Pakistan any day. Soon, the whole affair will turn into a noisy ugly circus. It seems that Veena Malik has all of a sudden turned into a big threat to our "Islamic" society. Before we all start pointing our little finger at Ms. High-heels Malik, we should all remember that there are bigger threats to our religion than a silly actress. I agree that she is quite a bombshell but at least she is not blasting into smithereens.

Much to my surprise is the reaction from the self-acclaimed superstar (and "joke of the day") Meera. In her recent interviews, she has called Veena, superficial and cheap. Had she got her facts straight, it was Meera who went across the border to shoot a steamy movie for our "Nazar". Furhtermore, she defended it by saying that it was like two countries falling in love. Yeah right!

While it is a case of "the pot calling the kettle black", it is also a case of jealousy, I think. Veena has not only stole Meera's spotlight. She stole Ashmit Patel too, the guy Meera kissed in "Nazar". Can it be that Meera still wants Ashmit? Or maybe she is afraid that Veena might play "Meera's" role in the sequel of (Meera claimed it as a hit, Ashmit said its a flop) the movie "Nazar". Who knows? Meera says that Ashmit Patel is a very innocent guy and Veena is a very sly.

Veena and Meera have been in a tussle for years now. Veena accused of Meera being wicked. According to Veena, Meena has tried to burn her face through Acid-Spilling Attacks. Furthermore, Meera claims that the superstar is, she never got the time to do Bigg Boss even though she was approached. And to top it all, Meera said Asif is a good guy.

I hope Meera knows what she is talking about. She has been known to give credit to wrong people for their work. As far as I know, nice guys do not dope or make MMS of their private moments and then send the phone for repairs without deleting stuff.

Indeed, Veena has not been a very "innocent" lass on the show but to me, it is not an issue. She is an actress and Bigg Boss is a television show for failing celebrities. If she plays a character in there, is she wrong? Not quite but Meera's response is highly uncalled for. This is the kind of attitude which has made our film industry suffer. Rather than dissing about Veena, Meera should have supported her for the sake of the country.